Man to Man
I came across this post on social media, and over thirty thousand people had liked it.
“Control your lust, and you’ll see how many women offer nothing but looks.
Control your anger, and you’ll realize most things aren’t that deep.
Control your wallet, and you’ll understand your mother is the only woman who loves you unconditionally. A man who controls his impulses becomes untouchable. No lies. No manipulation. No chaos. You will find it difficult in the beginning, but once you come in control, then there is no stopping you.”
Some of it sounds good, and self-control really is a good thing. But underneath it is the wisdom of this world, a man trusting in his own strength, looking down on women, and leaving God out completely. “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God” (1 Corinthians 3:19). So here is the answer, man to man, from the Bible.
Brother, before I say one word to you, I have to say it to myself. I fall too. I fight these same sins every single day. And any man who tells you he doesn’t is lying to you and to himself.
“If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). “If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us” (1 John 1:10). I know what it is to hate a sin with everything in me and still find myself fighting it again the next morning. I know the shame of coming back to God with the same confession, wondering how He could possibly still be patient with me. So please don’t read this as a man standing above you pointing his finger. Read it, as I have heard it said, as one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread. And the bread is CHRIST.
LUST
The world says, "Control your lust, and you will see that women are shallow." That is a lie straight from hell. The rot was never in the women. The rot is in us. Jesus said, "Everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Every woman we have ever undressed with our eyes is someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), and we have used her in our minds like she was nothing. That should break us.
Look at David, a man after God’s own heart, who looked one night from his roof and ended with adultery and murder on his hands (2 Samuel 11). If lust could take David down, it can take you and me down. But look at what David did when God confronted him. He did not make excuses. He cried out, “Against You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in Your sight” (Psalm 51:4), and “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10). That has to be our cry too.
So run, brother. Joseph ran from Potiphar’s wife and left his coat in her hand (Genesis 39:12). “Flee immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18). Delete it, block it, throw the phone away if you have to, and tell a brother you trust what you are fighting. Fill your mind with God’s Word, because “How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to "Your word” (Psalm 119:9) and “Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You” (Psalm 119:11). And remember who owns your body. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Christ bled for that body. It belongs to Him.
ANGER
The world says most things are not that deep. Brother, our anger is deeper than we want to admit. Most of it is wounded pride. Somebody did not respect us, somebody got in our way, and somebody did not do what we wanted. And who pays the price? The ones closest to us. Our wives carry the harsh words. Our children carry the shouting and the slammed doors, and some of them carry it for the rest of their lives. God says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them,” and “Fathers, do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart” (Colossians 3:19, 21).
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit is better than he who captures a city” (Proverbs 16:32). “The anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). So God tells us, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:31), and then He gives us the reason, “forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32). When I remember how much God has forgiven me, how patient He has been with me, and how many times He has held back His wrath from me because it fell on His Son, My anger at other people starts to look very small and very ugly.
MONEY
The world says, "Control your wallet, and you will find out nobody really loves you." What a bitter way to live. The Bible does not tell a man to test who loves him. It tells him to love, to give himself away. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). We work and provide because God commands it (1 Timothy 5:8). But Jesus warned, “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions” (Luke 12:15), and “You cannot serve God and wealth” (Matthew 6:24). “For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs” (1 Timothy 6:10).
Paul learned the secret. “I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am... I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11, 13). And as for being loved without conditions, no human love can carry that weight, not even a mother’s. God Himself says, “Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you” (Isaiah 49:15). The only love that never fails is His. “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). He loved us at our worst. He loved us while we were still His enemies.
THE LIE OF BEING UNTOUCHABLE
The world says, "Control yourself and you become untouchable, and then nothing can stop you." Brother, that is pride, and God hates it. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling” (Proverbs 16:18). “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12). I have never once beaten sin by willpower, and neither have you. Paul was the greatest apostle who ever lived, and he cried out, “Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24-25).
The only way these sins die is by the Holy Spirit. “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16). “If by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (Romans 8:13). And God has promised us a way out every single time. “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Self-control is not something we build. It is the fruit of His Spirit in us (Galatians 5:22-23), and all the glory for it belongs to HIM.
WHEN WE FALL
And when we fall, brother, and we will, don’t stay down in the dirt and don’t run away from God. Run TO Him. “Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall, I will rise; though I dwell in darkness, the LORD is a light for me” (Micah 7:8). “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). Every morning we wake up to the same truth. “The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23).
There was only ONE MAN who never fell. Jesus Christ faced every temptation you and I face, and He never sinned once. Then He went to the cross, and “He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed” (1 Peter 2:24). Every lustful look, every angry word, every greedy grab for more, He carried all of it for His people and paid for it with His own blood. That is why I keep fighting. I fight because He already loves me, and because a savior like that deserves a life that honors Him.
So let us get up, brother, and keep going, together. I am going back to the cross too.
“Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.” (Jude 24-25)
He who has ears to hear, let him hear. (Matthew 11:15)
Article by Jeremiah Knight
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